The irony of life amazes me. We think we have things figured out, to a certain extent, and then something happens to shift perspective. I wrote about happiness last night, and I woke up feeling grungy. I took my master aminos, as scheduled, and began my guided meditation... There are about 5 minutes of inspirational messaging on each audio file. Today's was all about surrendering the needs of the ego to the needs of the spirit. Ultimately, it was about loving one's self.
As I settled in, something happened... the guided meditation audio file began to skip. I also forgot to put my phone on silent. It started ringing just as I was slipping into the zone. I stayed in meditation, and I let the phone ring. I was doing my best to stay present, but I was clearly distracted. Moments later, a very loud motorcycle drove by, and again, my concentration was broken. I kept bringing my attention back to the experience as best I could. Towards the end, I had tears streaming down my face, and I wasn't sure why.
I then spoke with my sister on the phone, and the discussion was heated. She thought I was trying to push my views on her, and I thought she wasn't listening. It's amazing how one thing affects another and so on... I followed up with a compassionate message soon after we hung up, and all is well.
The cleanse has taught me be responsible for the choices I make. I created the distracting situations this morning. I brought them into my experience, and now I'm taking a look at that. I very well could have turned my phone off. I could have placed my computer on a more stable surface. And without the first two distractions, maybe I would have been so deep in meditation that I wouldn't have even noticed the motorcycle?
Is it possible that I was avoiding the messages coming through the meditation because it was something I didn't want to hear? Something I was avoiding? And I now see that I could have called my sister later in the day, when I wasn't so emotionally charged.
I believe that we are creating every moment of every day. We always have choices, and when we stay present to those choices, we become conscious creators. I think we also need to embrace the times when we create things that we don't want. By looking at them as learning experiences, we grow. A wise friend once said that breakthroughs come from breakdowns.
The mental benefits of cleansing the body are exponential. We are breaking old, automatic patterns and this carries over to all areas of our lives. It's some powerful stuff, and I think the name Transformational Cleanse is spot on.
I went about my day, and food-wise, I was feeling good. I wasn't hungry, and it took me a while to finish my first Power Shake. I also managed to pull myself out of the funk. My friend Shante stopped by, and we hung out for a bit while I worked on hoops for the Saturday Morning Market. What a perfect way to end my cleanse. I love that my last day falls on a Saturday when I'm vending at the market. I can't wait to buy organic veggies from Worden Farms. On my shopping list: sunflower sprouts, strawberries, local raw honey, kale, zucchini, carrots, romaine lettuce, coconuts, bananas, onions, beets, bok choy, and whatever else looks fresh and amazing. I'm planning my meals for the upcoming week because I am determined to stay on track.
I just returned home from my weekly gig at Casa Tina's and I'm going to crank out a few more hoops before my 5:30 a.m. wake up call. I'm coming into the home stretch. Tomorrow is the big day: weigh in. I wonder how much weight I've lost?
More tomorrow.... Sending love to you in the meantime.
XOXO,
Abby
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