Thursday, September 19, 2013

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Choosing Self Love in Relationships



This morning, my dear friend Shawnee Faye Hunter, inspired me with these words:

"When people choose to talk about other people in a negative way, I have learned not to participate. I understand that they are not happy with themselves or they are jealous of the other person. Either way, I send prayer and love their way, allowing them to open up to their own freedom. (You can do this too, don't fall into the trap). Gossiping is poison and will rip your insides out, then pour them on the ground filling your space with darkness. When you choose to spread rumors, you give up the power you are so worthy of. WAKE UP AND CHOOSE LOVE!!!!!!! YOU ARE WORTHY OF SELF LOVE."

Her message came to me at the perfect time.  Just this week, I cut ties with an individual who I wasn't communicating well with.  I started to notice that I was consistently feeling drained after spending time with this person.  I began to question the reasons why we hung out, until ultimately - the decision to cut ties became crystal clear.

Making the decision to sever a toxic relationship can be tricky.  I like to be liked, and I kept thinking about the circumstances that led to our conflict.  I felt compelled to reach out to this person.  Instead, I handled it in silence...  it was hard.  I'm not usually one to bite my tongue.  I meditated on it and refrained from communicating.  I realized that I am not responsible for what others say and do.  I am, however, fully responsible for my own thoughts, actions and reactions.  For this reason, I am making a conscious effort to be careful with my words.  And like my mom always said, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all."  Instead, I silently sent this person positive vibes and well wishes for a happy, healthy life.

Some relationships are toxic, and they can come in the form of friendships, romantic partnerships, business interactions... they can pop up almost anywhere.  Let's love ourselves enough to take notice when a relationship no longer serves us.  Let's refrain from gossip, hateful games, and spreading rumors.  While it can be difficult to cut ties with people who don't align with this mentality, it's for the best. We can send them love and peace and just go our separate ways.  And if we catch ourselves slipping into old patterns, just STOP and choose the positive path.  

I am making a conscious decision to surround myself with like minded people.  My friend circle is a sacred space, and I believe that friendships should be based on love, trust, honesty and mutual respect.

Sending love to you today and well wishes for healthy, honest, loving and fulfilling relationships...